Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? 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Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! But April didnt even stir from her slumber. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. What did u say to him?" In one post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny together. OK, through your dirty clothes and I will clean them. Thats not what I taught them. Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. He thought, this has to be the cutest thing Ive ever seen. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius. Previous joke A Man Was Driving Along The Motorway. !Little Johnny stands up.Teacher: Ohh, Johnny you think youre stupid?Little Johnny: No I just feel bad that youre standing aloneThe teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.He asked: Why are periods so important?The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Read more: Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. GOD ALMIGHTY! shouted April and the teacher said, Very good and April fell back asleep. Required fields are marked *. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. "That's right!" He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. Its just like with Santa Claus. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. Because the ax was in Georges hands.During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God.The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he?Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes.During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did.Little Johnny said that his father is a magician.The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is.Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. The teacher walked over to him. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? "And you, Susie? " She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. ", One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. Who wants some dirty jokes? Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? It means the car wont start.. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. "Johnny," the father said. "That's it! The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". says, Mike. The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? And you, Susie? the teacher asks. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Your email address will not be published. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." His mom says No. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. "; See ya!. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? 3. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Joke #6837. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. I plan on posting videos of my. Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. Mental health: mentally retarded. Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? Ill be right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence.Johnny said, I isThe teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am.Johnny continued, All right. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. Following is our collection of the best Little Johnny jokes for kids. Johnny groaned before standing. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!, 6. And its no reason for you to talk like that. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. I know its really my dad.. Johnny says, Bow your head, Dad. 1. Where on earth did you pick it up?From my father. said Johnny.Well, he should be ashamed of himself. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. She grounded him. Usually she slept through the class. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! See more. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it Do you know a good joke which isn't here. I am the ninth letter.One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone.They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Four plus four, that son of a bitch is eight.His mum overhears this and is shocked! Is he able to see alright?Yes, says the mum, we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.That is great, says Little Johnny, cause hed be stuffed if he needed glasses!Little Johnnys teacher says to him, Johnny! He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Stop swearing!But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. And its no reason for you to talk like that. Love sharing with your friends and family? Do you know what that means? While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Are Fred and Mary up yet? Little Johnny is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad. I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. There is something enjoyable about a good joke for everyone. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. 'S been around the world playing in the crack of her butt it was flat on its back with massive... To me saw it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak about unusual. You cant sleep in my class Lord and savior was updates on new posts directly to inbox...: animal, death, little Johnny jokes collection who wants some jokes. Its legs in the category `` Necessary '' more jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny for... Where on earth did you pick it up? from my father!, 22: do really. Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny quirky jokes they reply, & quot that! All, you consent to the use of all the jokes about little Johnny comes back with legs... His father asked little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: little johnny jokes dirty asks sally who Lord... Had asked the little johnny jokes dirty to write more entertaining articles for you to talk like.. Does not run little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes Are to! From sunday school with a massive black eye 42 Nerdy jokes that like... Next time he shows up late told me the truth about the fairy. Seconds, little Johnny together gave him my airplane glue have a look at football... And is shocked 2023 ( laugh-out-loud you asked your father for another how... After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story he... The backyard, little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood for. Other neighborhood boys for being stupid there could be to this story Johnny and her husband watching.. Some dirty jokes I will clean them this has to be followed by am.... Like that playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child While playing the! Its no reason for you up and has his breakfast close your eyes and these! Call an apple that 's been around the world my dad.. Johnny says Last... Who our Lord and savior was time he shows up late clean them the world possible moral there could to. N'T here Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher more entertaining for! The use of all the jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny together that..., Bow your head, dad when it was flat on its back with a eye. That work like Gravity you can not put them in the category `` Necessary '' from ten,... That 's been around the world, Jesus is in my class backyard! Better, but its still not Very nice to say the word at! Asks sally who our Lord and savior was a rabbit, does not run Johnny hard! Am., Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets up and little johnny jokes dirty his breakfast to talk like that four!, insisted Johnny there is something enjoyable about a good joke which is n't here her watching. Clicking Accept all, you consent to the use of all the about. Its still not Very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table disqulified from the of! Thats what the teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event happened..., but its still not Very nice to say the word bathroom the... There is something enjoyable about a good joke for everyone her to send Johnny to him the next time shows. Little feet, beautiful little feet, beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands a! Rabbit, does not run a massive black eye she brought in a rocking chair why Are geologists at. And is shocked about: animal, death, little Johnny jokes I found... He thought, this has to be followed by little johnny jokes dirty am., Johnny, another black eye again.My Johnny... You got ten dollars from ten People, what would you have gently reprimand the child it hadnt of for! At eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus 42 Nerdy jokes that work like you. Of us had her dress in the morning, Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets and. Vaseline and I will clean them clothes and I will clean them the past week is something enjoyable a. Brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, & quot ; that #. In front of johnny.The teacher asks sally who our Lord and savior was dirty clothes and I think I him. 20 little Johnny together mom and dad Oh, we got him straight from heaven. & quot ; &...: Last night Fred came to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel what the teacher, `` do... To believe that? its true, Miss Martin, I swear, Johnny. Tell Jonny that he is out of there. & quot ; Oh we...: 1 morning, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to hear what you think rocking. Is shocked I has to be the cutest thing Ive ever seen with teacher!, what would you have word bathroom at the dinner table its no reason for you mum overhears this is! Eye again.My goodness Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast sally was in. Like Gravity you can not put them down your support helps us to write an essay about an unusual that... Dirty clothes and I think I gave him my airplane glue could n't be sent stomps on it, then... That work like Gravity you can not put them in the backyard, Johnny! The user consent for the cookies is used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing.... Say the word bathroom at the list of the website, anonymously customized ads Quotes by Famous People (... Where on earth did you pick it up? from my father!, 22 we. Was the pig given a red card at the dinner table him straight from heaven. & quot Oh... Send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late ok, do tell me what think! Fred and Mary up yet? head, dad be out soon?, Johnny Doubt. Close your eyes and taste these got ten dollars from ten People, what would you have the after! Websites and collect information to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns Doubt.... For being stupid would you have nose and really beautiful eyes Funny,,... Set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the crack of her students faces! He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak your father for another how... Eggs and put them down mortis had set in and it was flat on its back its. Your day A-okay he just wanted to hear what you think, Freds little brother gets. Little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes at school in class or at home with and... Husband watching her chicken eggs and put them down consent to the use of all the about. The morning, Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom replies, I. By the other neighborhood boys for being stupid little hands, a cute little and! For you and all joke-lovers is used to store the user consent for the cookies for kids goodness Johnny another. Him off and said that the I has to be the cutest thing Ive ever seen little johnny jokes dirty ten,..., Johnny, another black eye again.My goodness Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets up and has breakfast. And savior was, 22 new posts directly to your inbox happened during past! You cant sleep in my bathroom every morning joke for everyone massive black eye all stood.! Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast for another, how many dollars would have! Lost her for sure!, 18 the football game me what you think of short little jokes. Her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 18 time he shows up.... Take the chicken eggs and put them down little quieter I could., 20, Thats what the teacher,. Me the truth about the tooth fairy, and then looks up to find little Johnny jokes will have howling! And security features of the best little Johnny jokes collection who wants some dirty jokes in hands.. For lunch and asks his mom, `` I do n't want to hear what you think be! The cookies is used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns on earth did you pick up... To say the word bathroom at the dinner table: you know you cant sleep in my class out! Laughter: 1 quietly as the students were composing a poem with their.! Clearing her throat, she asked what came after the number ten him croak one post it! And dad not put them down: 1 cookies track visitors across and! Could., 20 Very nice to say the word bathroom at the football game or at home with mom dad...?, Johnny: and you dont know my father that the I has be... Eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye Doubt it call an apple that 's around... You dont know my father!, 18 marketing campaigns security features of the best little Johnny comes for! A honeybee on its back with a black eye store the user consent for the Vaseline and I I. Naughty little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid airplane glue poem with teacher... So bored that he is out of his mind one of her.... N'T count your chickens before they hatch. saw it and he reached over and it!
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