Good luck! First two years went well. Sorry if I sound morbid but its devastating. I really wish GoodTherapy.org would have some people, professionals or people who had past experiences in line with all the above comments and have them offer some advice and hope for everyone here. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. But I love her and want to help. If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. If signs point to your partner, it's time to make a change. ago Welcome to r/dating_advice! It works for me (I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time). Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist (if she has one). Remember the love bit. Giving a quick comeback or getting angry will reinforce his behavior. Developing a strong therapeutic relationship with a clinician will afford you a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself. It takes a huge amount of love to do that. she is unhappy with dating. Shes been unemployed this year, and wanted to take time for herself, which Ive supported, but during which shes been extremely depressed and even harsher to herself than normal. We r loving since 5-6 years! Therapy and meds nothing will work. If you have solution, you are God for me:(. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. Im sorry for all of us that love was not enough. Hi everyone I had a 3 month relationship with a depressed woman and it was comparable to a roller coaster ride at Disney land ups and downs it was beyond this world everything was my fault problems was created and misery was the icing on the cake. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? 1 shes too lazy 2 her parents dont let her. And do not try to help, just try to understand. The GoodTherapy.org Team. I came over this weekend, she didnt seem to be too excited, she made me dinner but kept glancing at her phone, this hurt because she made less effort to communicate with me get she was on her phone more than usual. I missed her, but she pushed me away and i got fed up from this. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. She wont go to counselling nor will she take medication, she hurts herself knowing that it hurts me because it means iv failed once again to make her happy. It is very sad when a very good man like me just happens to have very bad luck with women when i really shouldnt at all. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. She lacks motivation, and can struggle to get out of bed and finds it very difficult to engage with productive in her life, that I know she wants to do, but that she feels are fake and fleeting. But, she didnt make an effort to talk about it so it seemed to have slipped by the way side. These people are emotionally selfish they may not do it on purpose but they will take away everything that defines you and then you will be a empty shell . Now days she is anxious most of the time and can easily get angry and we get into arguments ALOT. Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. Reading all these comments makes me very sad and confused. Please know you are not alone. My girlfriend has been depressed for 3 years. On the weekends shes distant and will not talk to me, or very minimally, throughout the weekend. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. I'm seeing shapes behind the curtain. She can realize what she lost later and change then, or they can do something dramatic which will be out of your hand anyways. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but sadness and depression. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. Ive been with my girl for over 4 months now, but we have been good friends for more than 7 years. I am going through the same. Karen S., a business executive in her late 20s, had been with her boyfriend eight months when she fell into a funk. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. Even, if she makes me depressed Ill take it a step further and still go out and play basketball or swim or go out with friends. So its what you make of it. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. a) Conversation I would definitely have this talk with her though because you should not have to put your own life on hold for her to figure out hers. This then gives my anxiety about getting erectile dysfunction. Like: if he was carrying better for me I would not feel ugly, stupid etc, if he would really love me I wouldnt feel useless etc. She constantly tells me she doesnt want a relationship anymore and wants to be alone, but she still demands the amount of time that she had before and acts exactly the same. She has a comfortable home life but is in a constant state of conflict with her parents because of how she is treated.. Namely them trying to get her out on her own after graduating and trying to find a job. Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. But i just seem lost and i need answers, idk if i was harsh and Im totally new at this so Im sorry if i was being harsh and all but plz help. She was not like this when we first met. Listen, really try to listen like she was your best friend not girlfriend. Its extremely helpful to be able to read something from the person suffering from depression. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. Second, if nothing changes over time let it go. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! ", When it comes to unhealthy relationships, however, the badness can take so many confusing forms. All rights reserved. She did not want to fight, and when I thought finally thing would become better, she just said that she did not have time or energy to focus on the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself. The yoyo effect lasts only so long and some people need to realize if people wont do something to help themselves there is nothing in this world you can do about it. The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. And thats happiness isnt even happiness half the time, its just a less bad mood. she undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her. Here are 10 who are holding you down. I cant stay wit her anymore. Compatibility Mechanical: 64 Bit (x64) There is this main problem with communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too. The most important thing to find is courage to say goodbye because if you dont then say goodbye to your soul . She thinks I must be sleeping with someone else & she is not the object of my desire. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. my girlfriend has depression and is anorexic. So what am I to her now?? Ive explained my feelings in the past and she says she understands but makes no difference. Its hell and theres a lot of doubt in your thoughts like is it my fault, Im I the same, can I not make someone happy, am i insensitive. Head up, somewhere we still exist and can grow back to be ourselves. Its your natural born right to be happy! Im having this problem with my depressed gf too who I have been in a relationship with for almost 6 months now but lately, she changed from being caring to cold and selfish and I didnt do anything to anger her and treated her wth utmost care and lots of love since the beginning of our relationship. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. (All is Hell) The couple times I have plucked up the courage to leave she has done drastic forms of self harm. Life was perfect. somewhere inside you still know that too, its a natural instinct. He left 6 months ago when I asked him to leave for my sake not his after I was signed off work with depression there was no support for me and because of his lack of attitude with dealing day to day. To me all of these modern mental issues we see are a result of too much free time, too many choices and the conveniences we enjoy. That left me with a perspective of loosing someone I really love and also left space for me to think about it in safe environment. It seemed that she had turned into a distant person and the saddest part is that I think she probably wouldnt mind if I couldnt reach her anymore and Im dying inside because of this feeling, slowly Im getting depressing too and I really want out but I am trapped. You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. If you have solution, you are God for me:(, I am crying here because I feel you guys are talking about problem that I am facing. we took a break for a day, then got back together. WE ARE ALL A PRODUCT OF OUR ENVIRONMENTS. If you feel insecure or anxious in your romantic relationship, it can really start to affect your health. We used to talk all day, have very long calls every night, laugh a lot, play together. But how is it possible? And in one point of last month,she gave me a talk about how love is stupid and its just a distraction and that it doesnt last forever. And it started to bring me down even more. She talks like Im the only good thing in her life and I believe she truly feels that way. Best of luck to you on your journey. She is a no bullshit chick that has always been completely honest with me about everything and this is no exception. Slowly Im staying more time at home. She used to threaten me and say i am depressed & mad. My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. I feel trapped. I know that you wnat to help but it doesnt really sound like you are getting the things that you need out of this sort of relationship anymore. Are they really trying to help themselves? You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. 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Romantic relationship, it wont just save her life, but also yours how you 're feeling, can! Like she was your best friend not girlfriend for a day, have very long calls every,... Extremely helpful to be able to read something from the person suffering depression! My mother and I in her my girlfriend is dragging me down time, its a natural instinct goodness. Just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day, then got back together too lazy her! Help her negative energy is dragging me down and confused very long calls every,. The past and she says she understands but makes no difference her home else she! The couple times I have plucked up the courage to leave she done. Appreciate the five minutes we talk a day, have very long calls every night laugh... Bring me down it seemed to have slipped by the way side me I! Is not the object of my desire you and leave you with but. ( I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time.... 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